Playing For Forever Read online

I knew I should’ve forced Austin come to Italy with me. All this shit would’ve been avoided if I had.

  David: Where is she now?

  11:30 PM

  Fergus: Gym.

  11:31 PM

  David: Take her home after. Pick up takeout.

  Don’t let her leave the house again.

  11:33 PM

  Fergus: Okay.

  11:34 PM

  My jaw clenched as it all came together.

  Elaine had been eager to push Austin's career from the start. And all the shit she was doing for Austin behind my back...

  There was no mix-up. Elaine had lied to me about the time. She had convinced Austin to stay for the shoot, convinced me to let her. She didn’t take my needs into account, only what would benefit Austin’s career.

  Without a second thought, I dialed her number.

  “Hi, Austin already left with Fergus,” she greeted.

  “You fuckin’ separate us again and you’re fired,” I stated evenly, just as the attendant returned with my water.

  Allessandra gave me a flirtatious look that earned her a hard glare. I was not in the mood to deal with anyone who wasn’t Austin.

  “David—” Elaine tried.

  “I don’t know what the fuck you’re playing at,” I growled, struggling to control my rage. “But you go through me from now on.”

  “David, it’s her career, I won’t do that,” she calmly argued.

  “It is her career, so why was she topless?” I questioned, my voice growing louder with each word, gaining Allessandra’s attention again.

  “I had to know she could handle—”

  “You were fucking testing her?” I thundered.

  “David, I’m trying to help her.”

  “She’s mine. Period. You come between us again, and you’re out,” I gritted.

  “You’re not willing to let her do what she needs to do.” Elaine’s calm, rational voice was infuriating. “She’ll resent you.”

  “I’ll do anything she needs,” I swore fiercely. “Anything. I’d fucking die for her. I just need her with me.”

  Elaine didn’t respond immediately, but when she finally did her voice was soft and understanding.

  “Okay, David. I’ll make sure your schedules don’t conflict.”

  At her words, I felt some of the tension drain from my body. She seemed to finally grasp how serious I was about this particular subject.

  “I’m not fuckin’ around Elaine.” My voice was a tired rasp. I was exhausted, emotionally and physically. “Something like this happens again and you’re out.”

  “I understand.”

  “Good,” I muttered, hitting end call before she could respond.

  What I still didn't know was whether Austin knew about Elaine’s scheme and helped hide it from me. Helped plan.

  But I’ll find out…

  I knew how to get the truth out of Austin.

  Austin

  I was roused from sleep by a violent throbbing between my legs, a racing heart, and heavy breaths. It took my sleep-muddled brain a moment to catch up. Then I felt the warm, hard body behind me, the muscled thigh wedged between mine, the fingers massaging my clit, and the steely length nestled in the cleft of my ass.

  David.

  A soft moan spilled from my throat as my body responded, hips rocking back.

  A low, approving growl rumbled through him and those fingers moved, sliding back through my folds, teasing my opening, then circling my clit. Over and over, in a torturous, lazy rhythm.

  “Fuck, you got wet,” he muttered behind my ear. His voice was low and rough and a little needy as he thrust against me. Small, subtle thrusts, as if trying to restrain himself.

  Idly, I wondered how long he'd been working my body, turning me into this mindless, horny mess. But between the sleep fog and the chemical euphoria clouding my brain, I could only focus on one thing—getting fucked—with fingers or cock, I didn’t care.

  “Mmmm... David.” My sleep rough voice was barely audible as my head nuzzled deeper into my pillow, trying not to fully wake. My hands roamed up his arm, feeling the brutal contours as I rolled my hips, getting that sweet pang with each shift.

  “Sure it was me you were expecting?”

  That woke me up some. “Who else?”

  “I don’t know... maybe Fergus, or anyone else you showed your tits to earlier,” he accused darkly, his lips and teeth massaging the delicate flesh of my neck.

  My stomach plummeted, but the aggression and anger in his touch had my core throbbing as a low moan bubbled up out of me.

  I knew David would react this way, but I couldn’t bring myself to care as his thrusts turned threatening, long, controlled strokes, pressing deeper into the cleft of my ass.

  “Why else would you go to bed naked with Fergus in the house?” His voice was a quiet demand with a bite of challenge.

  Everything inside me stilled. “I was waiting for—”

  He slapped my clit, hard, cutting me off. My breath caught as the sharp sting radiated through me.

  “Did I tell you to stop working your cunt on me?”

  His harsh words sent a shiver up my spine and instantly, I knew what I needed.

  I wanted to be punished.

  I needed to be controlled.

  His dominance calmed me, comforted me, kept me level. Stable. He held me together. He was the only thing holding me together.

  My eyes stung as I came to the horrifying realization, I didn’t just want him, I needed him.

  I was dependent. I’d been so resolute about not losing myself in him, and I already had. I just hadn’t known it. He’d turned me into a codependent, emotional mess.

  Suddenly, my eyes flooded and overflowed as my chest shook with my stuttered breath.

  David stilled behind me, then I felt his lips on my neck. “Austin, what happened?” His voice was tender and sincere. He sounded a tiny bit afraid of my answer, though.

  But I couldn't respond as the dam finally burst, tears falling freely, soaking into the pillowcase.

  He moved behind me, shifting up, leaning over me, but I kept my eyes closed tight, unwilling to meet his.

  He was silent for a long uncomfortable moment.

  “Oh, sweet girl,” he breathed against my temple, sounding equally surprised and guilty. “You wanted me to take your choice away.”

  I wasn’t sure what he saw that made him think that, but his words made my eyes flood anew as the truth sank in.

  He was right. I had wanted that, I just hadn’t been willing to admit it. I wanted him to need me more. I wanted him to demand I go with him. I hated that he hadn't, and I hated that I felt that way.

  Biting my lip, I nodded.

  “I’m so sorry.” He sounded remorseful, as if everything was his fault. “I promise, it won’t happen again. I promise,” he swore softly, pressing his lips along my cheek.

  “I need you,” I admitted miserably.

  “Oh fuck, I need you,” he swore huskily, sounding grateful and relieved all at once. “I need you so fucking much.”

  His broad palm cupped my mound and he whispered, “Tell me.”

  Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes. The distant lights on Sunset looked streaked and bleary.

  “I want it to hurt,” I breathed through trembling lips. “I want you to punish me.”

  “Fuck, sweetheart,” he groaned, an erotic, raw sound as he settled behind me, shoving his arm under my neck, gripping my shoulder, his forearm bracing across my chest, pinning me to him.

  Everything inside me shifted, righting. Being restrained by him made me feel safe. Loved. Protected.

  “What do you want... fingers or cock?”

  “Fingers—all of them.” My voice was barely above a whisper as I gripped his thick forearm across my chest. Bracing myself.

  It was going to hurt.

  I needed it to hurt.

  His hand on my shoulder tightened, pulling me closer, his muscles flexing under my hand. His touch wa
s needy and possessive, fueling my hunger.

  His other hand hooked under my thigh, lifting, tucking my knee up to my chest. His heavy leg still holding my other one down.

  “Don’t fucking move,” he growled. The harsh command warmed my insides, making me pliant and submissive. Then I felt him forcing four fingers into me from behind. Firm and unrelenting.

  A pained moan escaped my throat as he viciously stretched me open. I was sensitive and swollen, tight and hot from his skilled touch.

  “Yeah, let me hear you.” His fingers pushed deeper, and I whimpered. “It’s fucked up how much I love hurting you like this—knowing you’ll let me, knowing you want it too.”

  I did want it. Craved it. I didn’t even fully understand it, but that dark part of me was in control, and it wanted every ounce of pain David was willing to deliver.

  “More,” I breathed, closing my eyes, getting lost in his scent, his warm skin on mine, his thick muscles wrapped around me, his fingers violating me. I was trapped, pinned in, and I never wanted to be free.

  “You do that shit on purpose today? To fuck me up?” he rasped, his lips brushing my ear.

  At my hesitation, his fingers plunged deeper. The pain was sharp and relentless, forcing the words from my throat.

  “Yes,” I admitted, shocked by the truth. “I wanted to hurt you, for leaving, for the girl, for being fine with us being apart. For leaving me to take care of myself, I—” my words cut off, my throat tightening with emotion.

  “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t fine, not even close, I was mad because I thought you were fine.” His sincere, sweet words were a strong contradiction to his rough touch.

  Suddenly, a pinching pain seared through me, lighting my nerve endings on fire, burning away my insecurities, and the stress and burden of my newly discovered dependency.

  My head pushed back against his shoulder as bone-deep relief washed through me. “Yes,” I hissed.

  “One more question, and I’ll give you anything you want.” His deep rumble resonated through me.

  I nodded, pressing my forehead against his warm neck.

  “Did you and Elaine plan it?” His tone was odd, calm, diplomatic.

  “The truth?”

  His fingers stilled. “No, I want you to fucking lie to me.”

  There it was in his voice… the hurt I had caused him.

  “I think Elaine had it worked out ahead of time.” My voice was strained as I struggled to get his fingers deeper. “But I didn’t know. I swear. And it was like I was on auto-pilot. It wasn’t personal,” I babbled.

  “Fucking better not be. You’re mine, don’t forget it,” he growled.

  His unrelenting possessiveness pulled at something deep inside me, building the pressure and heat between my legs.

  He was quiet a moment, then swore gruffly, “Never again.” I couldn’t tell if he was referring to me taking off my top, doing a racy shoot, or what. But I would have agreed to anything as long as he made me come. “I’m going to all your shoots. You’re coming to mine. No discussion. Understand?”

  “Yes,” I breathed, relieved he was taking over, making the decisions. “We go to each other’s shoots.”

  “Good.” His voice was thick with arousal, turning me on more. Then he taunted, “What do you need?”

  “I need your cock,” I panted. “Please.”

  His fingers slipped out of me, then his wide crown was pushing between my folds, plunging into my sex with the same desperation I felt.

  My panting breaths turned to rasped cries as he forced his way into my clenching cunt. His brutal length filled me, stretching me, pushing into my end. His cock twitched against my cervix and my hunger took over, hips shifting, riding him.

  My hips jerked in a frantic rhythm. I felt possessed, crazed. My body was hungry for him in a way I'd never known before—desperate, frantic, as if he might disappear.

  “Oh fuck,” he groaned, a tortured, erotic sound rumbling through his chest. His fingers found my clit, pinching and rolling—the pain, making me hornier, needier.

  The delicious stretch of my core, the sharp bursts of pleasure from my throbbing clit, combined with his voice had me writhing against him.

  “Fuck me,” I begged, arching back, my hips straining for more.

  “Never again, promise me, you never strip in front of other men like that. Only me.” His movements were raw and primal. Dominant.

  It was a ridiculous request considering our career choices, but I conceded, because deep down, I wanted the same from him. “I promise, only if you’re there.”

  “Good, because I sure as fuck won’t let you,” he grumbled.

  “Baby, make it hurt,” I panted.

  His arm tightened around me, muscles trembling as he angled his hips, desperately pursuing our orgasms. Buried deep inside me, his thrusts were short and measured and powerful, hitting my end with purpose.

  He hammered in at a relentless pace. Each painful thrust, sent sharp streaks shooting through me as the tension built. Suddenly, my pussy clenched violently, as pleasure pumped through me, vicious and hot, my body jerking in his arms. Responding to pain this way should have been alarming, but it wasn’t. I’d never felt more open and free in my life.

  “I love you, I love you,” I chanted through an excruciating orgasm, unable to stop myself and unsure where it was coming from. But I did love him. I was overwhelmed with how much I did.

  “Keep saying it.” He pressed deep, holding me tight. Then his cock pulsed inside me, heat blooming in my core as he came with a guttural groan.

  He gripped my chin, pulling my face to his.

  His tongue licked into my mouth once, twice, moving closer each time, until our lips were pressed together and I sucked the offering. It was sweet, gentle, and loving, despite how obscene it felt.

  “I love you,” he panted into my mouth.

  Kissing his lips once more, I turned back to the window; the view of Sunset Boulevard was serene with its lack of activity. My fingers trailed over the contours of his forearm, feeling the muscles twitch under my gentle exploration.

  We stayed like that—breathing hard, our hearts pounding—as his length throbbed inside me.

  Suddenly, my behavior over the last two days slammed into me. I’d been manic, frantic, nearly out of my goddamn mind. I’d tried to cover it, but...

  Humiliation overwhelmed me, knowing Fergus and David knew—probably Elaine too.

  What the hell was it? Obsession? Addiction?

  “Are we in love? Is this being in love?” I asked, genuinely curious. I mean, I felt something strong for him, overwhelming, all consuming, but I’d never been in love or even in hard like; I had nothing to compare it to. And I’d never gotten the impression that being in love was so volatile, out of control. So much… everything.

  “Yes.” His grip on me tightened. “It’s more intense, deeper, more complex... it’s real. It’s based on who we are, not who we hope the other will become,” he explained softly. “We’re flawed, damaged and... perfect.”

  “I’m sorry about today,” I whispered, truly regretting that he hadn’t been with me. Regretting I’d done something I’d specifically told him I wouldn’t. And embarrassed I couldn’t hold myself together for one full day.

  He exhaled sharply. “I’m sorry—pretty sure you going overboard today was my fault.”

  My back stiffened at that. If he knew they were too sexy, Fergus had conveyed that. Which meant from Fergus’ perspective…

  My face heated with embarrassment.

  But David continued on, unfazed, “Elaine had it planned, and I know you. You would’ve done it because she asked. Just to prove you could if nothing else.” He blew out another harsh breath. “Truthfully, if you were anyone else, I’d expect you to do exactly what you did—otherwise it’s amateur hour.” He paused, taking a slow, deep breath. Then his lips pressed to my neck as he spoke. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Austin. Not really. I just have to find a way to deal—that’s why we’ll b
e going to each other’s shoots from now on. You’ll know exactly how I behave at mine, and I’ll know what’s going on at yours. I won’t be coming up with crazy shit, making myself insane.”

  I grinned at his grumbled words.

  As possessive and jealous and irrational as he was, he was still reasonable and, above all, understanding.

  “I love you,” I whispered, pressing kisses to the back of his hand. “And I want you going with me. I needed you there today.”

  “Good.” He sounded relieved and truly relaxed for the first time since he crawled in bed. “No more nights apart, either.”

  I squeezed his arm tighter. I really wanted that to be true, but it wasn’t realistic.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  The first thing I noticed was the utter silence in the room; I was alone, and more than a little surprised that David wasn't still asleep. I had caught a brief glimpse of the clock at one point during the night, so I knew he'd been wide-awake at three a.m., and obviously for hours before that.

  Cracking open my eyes, I took in the early morning view of LA.

  All that possessive neediness seemed to have faded with the morning light. It felt like a dream, or a distant memory. Maybe I just wanted it to be. Maybe because it had been too painful, or too humiliating. Or maybe it was because David was home and none of that applied now.

  Regardless, I was glad, I wanted to forget. Forget all about my behavior and the disturbing realization of my codependency. I sure as hell wasn’t ready to accept it. Needing another person that much scared the shit out of me.

  The hardwood floors were cool under my feet as I climbed out of bed and headed to the closet. Not knowing if Fergus was still in the house, I quickly put on a bra, an oversized hoodie, and sweat shorts, then made my way to the kitchen.

  David was standing in front of the stove cooking, the muscles of his broad back on display, his pants hanging off his hips, exposing those indents above his ass. And he had the sexiest bed hair I’d ever seen.

  Silently, I stood there, my gaze fixated on the domestic wet dream before me.

  “Good morning,” David rumbled, looking over his bare shoulder at me, a devilish smirk crossing his too handsome face. That look was mischievous, triumphant, and smug. He was clearly pleased with the previous nights events.